Some nights, I sit back in my Lazyboy and wonder: how did it take me 39 years to think of this? I mean, who knew getting into a chair could be a full-blown mission impossible? Maybe a portable hoist with a sling could’ve worked sooner—but let’s be honest, getting the sling under me is already like trying to change the tire while the car’s still moving.
Now, I like to keep things friendly with my caregivers—we’ve got what I call friendationships (patent pending)—but the moment a sling comes out, it’s suddenly a hospital scene. No more jokes, just straps, hooks, and that serious “I’m now a professional” face. Meanwhile, I’m double-checking their work like a paranoid skydiver, making sure everything is clipped on right so I don’t go flying mid-air like Cirque du Soleil: Quad Edition.
Then comes the “fun” part—threading the sling through your legs and under your crotch. Nothing says “bonding moment” quite like that, right? Once I’m in the sling, it’s like being in a human taco, slipping and sliding while the hoist lifts me up into a graceful mid-air spin. Getting back into the Lazyboy without knocking over grandma’s china takes NASA-level precision.
And let me tell you—if you don’t get all the way to the back of the chair, you’re in for what I call the Quadslide™: a slow, humiliating slide out of the chair that ends with you on the floor, and your caregiver googling, “How to lift a human without calling the fire department.” Honestly, even when it all goes perfectly, I end up feeling like a sad sack of potatoes—disabled potatoes, at that.
Enter: The Kera Sit2Sit.
This thing is a game-changer. With one smooth push, the sling’s in place, thigh straps go on, chest straps tighten, and I’m airborne faster than you can say, “Lazyboy incoming.” The Kera turns on a dime, and next thing you know, I’m lowered into the chair like royalty. The chest pad keeps me upright, the straps come off gently, and boom—I’m chilling.
The best part? I don’t feel like a chore. My helper actually enjoys it. They even take my wheelchair and the Kera to another room and settle in for the latest episode of Yellowstone. Occasionally, they glance over at me with a smile that says, “I’m awesome,” and honestly—they are. I’m comfy, they’re proud, and we’re both winning.
At the end of the night, the setup returns, we reverse the process in record time, and I’m back in my wheelchair, ready for bed and already plotting tomorrow night’s episode.
Moral of the story? Technology is great, caregivers are superheroes, and Quadslide™ should absolutely be an Olympic sport.